Pinky Swear
by Setkia
Summary: "I think we should get married." Tōru watches in fascination as Hajime chokes on his water and doubles over, trying to catch his breath. "What?"


_**Author's Note:** So I don't own **Haikyūu**. I wanted my first IwaOi story to be really special because I actually think they may be my favorite pairing (because of the angst factor) and so I wrote this. It's based off of the following prompt: **"When a boy and a girl are teenagers, they agree to get married if they haven't by the time they're thirty-five. Join the boy as he sets out to sabotage every relationship the girl has until then".** So obviously I changed some things, and as much as I love an angsty Iwa-chan, (for some reason I like when the one expected to be the seme to suffer more) this was fun to do. I'm a sucker for angst with a happy ending. So read it, and I guess tell me what you think. Another thing I'm a huge sucker for: childhood best friends fall in love cliché, so Tsuki and Yamaguchi, Kenma and Kuro ... And now I'm just totally in love with Bokuto and Akaashi, because Bokuto's highs and lows are just ... amazing. And the way Akaashi deals with him and hearing him say "hey hey hey" okay, I'm gonna stop now. Please enjoy._

* * *

 ** _Pinky Swear_**  
 _by: Setkia_

* * *

 **"I think we should get married."**

 **Tōru watches in fascination as Hajime chokes on his water and doubles over, trying to catch his breath. "What?"**

* * *

They're eight when they make the promise.

It's a normal day of bug-catching, and volleyball playing when they stop to take a water break and it comes up.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Aren't you gonna guess?"

"It'll save us both time and effort if we just admit right now I'm not a mind reader and you should just tell me what you're thinking."

Tōru pouts. "Buzzkill," he whines. Hajime rolls his eyes at him but it doesn't take long before he's grinning widely. "I think we should get married."

Tōru watches in fascination as Hajime chokes on his water and doubles over, trying to catch his breath. "What?"

"Well, Nee-chan has a boyfriend, and everyone thinks they'll be getting married and if I'm gonna marry anyone I want it to be you," says Tōru simply.

"But we're both guys."

"Does that matter?"

Hajime blinks and seems to think about it. "I ... I think it does."

"It shouldn't," says Tōru.

"What if I don't want to marry you?"

Tōru freezes for a moment. This thought never occurred to him. "Then ... We don't get married." He tries not to sound disappointed when an idea pops into his head. "Ooh! I know! What about if we're single by the time we're thirty-five, we get married?"

Hajime looks at Tōru, tilting his head. He came to find bugs and practice serves, maybe look for some spaceships, he didn't come to make wedding plans. But he knows from the expectant look in Tōru's eyes no is not an option. "Okay, sure. If we're not in a relationship by the time we're thirty-five, we'll get married to each other."

They pink-swear it, which is a huge deal, so it's basically written in stone now.

Tōru can't wait to grow up.

* * *

When they're fourteen it dawns on Tōru that maybe it is a bit weird that he and Iwa-chan (he's not allowed to call him Hajime anymore, they're "too old for that". Tōru hates it) plan to get married when they grow up.

Fourteen is also the first year they're not in the same class. A lot more girls approach him, for some reason.

"Um, Oikawa-kun, I ... towards you I ..."

Tōru tilts his head to the side slightly and waits patiently for her to finish. He can't remember her name and he feels a bit bad about it but he has to keep up his school work and remember plays and so you can hardly blame him for not remembering this girl's name. Even if she's been in his class for the past five years. Iwa-chan is the only person whose name is important anyway.

"I like you, Oikawa-kun!"

Tōru stares at her. Her cheeks are red, she's bowing her head and she looks more than a little bit nervous.

"Um..." Tōru doesn't know what he's supposed to say. Is there a right way to respond? Is there a wrong way to answer?

"Oi, Asskawa!"

That's another thing Tōru doesn't like about using last names, Iwa-chan has given him numerous mean titles. But he jerks to attention when he hears his best friend's voice. Iwa-chan is lucky, his voice never cracks while everyone else bumbles through puberty. Even Tōru's gives out sometimes.

"I have to go," says Tōru and the girl looks saddened. He gives her a polite smile and then runs to get to Iwa-chan.

"What did she want?" asks Iwa-chan.

"She said she liked me," says Tōru with a shrug.

"Eh?"

"Yeah, I didn't really get it either."

"Of course she likes you," says Iwa-chan rolling his eyes and that catches Tōru's attention.

"What do you mean of course?"

"You're warped but you've got a pretty face." Ah. Tōru supposes Iwa-chan isn't that lucky after all, his voice cracks when he says that.

"Does Iwa-chan like my face?" asks Tōru, curious.

"Shut up, Trashkawa."

Tōru doesn't know why he feels a bit disappointed.

* * *

When they're applying to high schools, Tōru wants to go wherever Iwa-chan goes. They live really close to each other but something tells Tōru that if they don't go to the same school, he won't get to be as close to Iwa-chan as he is now.

"Where are you going?"

"I applied to a couple of places," says Iwa-chan. "I think I'll probably get my second choice though, not sure if they'll let me into Shiratorizawa with my grades."

Iwa-chan is smart. Tōru knows he is, he and Tōru are always in the classes for the smart kids. How high are Shiratorizawa's standards?

To be honest, Tōru's applied to Shiratorizawa as well and he thinks he might actually get in, but if Iwa-chan doesn't get in, he's not going there either.

"Nee-chan is thinking of getting married," says Tōru instead. He doesn't like thinking about leaving school and going ahead. Not because he has to leave any special _kouhai_ behind (he's glad he won't have to see Tobio-chan's face anymore) but because it's so uncertain where he'll be headed. His whole future rests in Iwa-chan's hands and he doesn't think he knows.

"Hmm?"

"Are we still on for that promise?"

Tōru watches the way Iwa-chan pauses, as if he needs to remember, as if he's forgotten it. It wasn't that long ago, it's all Tōru can think about most days (besides volleyball) so it hurts a bit that Iwa-chan hesitates in answering.

"Yeah, we're still on."

Tōru wishes the aliens would give him a time machine so he can marry Iwa-chan already.

* * *

When they lose to Karasuno in the practice match, it occurs to Tōru that he loves Iwaizumi Hajime.

He's in the gym after the match, practicing serves against the wall, watching them bounce off, the sound echoing around the empty room. He's emptied the basket at least twice and his knee is telling him to stop but he can't stop.

He can't be beaten by a _kouhai_ , by such a prodigy, by that brat. He won't let it happen.

Iwa-chan comes in right after he jumps. He almost loses his footing. The ball hits the ground, untouched by his palm, his legs nearly giving out on him. The ball rolls to Iwa-chan's feet and without even saying a thing, he tosses it to Tōru, who tosses it back and watches as Iwa-chan jumps, graceful and in perfect form, spiking the ball into the wall, where it collides forcefully before bouncing off from the force.

They don't talk, just practice for hours. Tōru isn't sure how long it is, just that it gets darker and darker outside and a benefit of being captain means he has the keys to lock up the gym. They keep going at it, no breaks, no time for hesitation.

They even figure out a new play they can use against those damn crows. Flightless? Yeah right. Number five was soaring. Though Tōru thinks Iwa-chan looks much more beautiful when he spikes.

When Tōru's legs finally give out on him and he falls, Iwa-chan starts to collect the balls without a word.

Tōru wants to help, he really does, or if not help, tease Iwa-chan for being such a good boy but his throat won't work. He knows Tobio-chan is great, knows he's a prodigy, and even if their defence is full of holes they are still amazing for a team Tōru wasn't expecting anything from. He just can't move. He's numb. He's overworked himself, like Iwa-chan tells him not to do and he wonders why Iwa-chan let him do this.

"Why?" he asks when he finally manages to find his voice, still sitting on the floor in an uncomfortable position, the balls now cleaned up, but the basket is still out, just in case they need to start again.

"Because you needed it."

And Tōru falls apart inside.

Faking it, fooling everyone, there is one person he will never be able to lie to, never be able to convince with his façade. And he's staring him right in the eyes, unflinching, unchanging. He's not leaving, not like the cool guys do in all those books and movies, he stays because Tōru needs him, needs him in a way Iwa-chan knows and Tōru is just starting to realize. He can never pretend with Iwa-chan. And he doesn't want to.

"Wanna go again?"

He's tired, it's obvious. He's sweating a lot and he's going to collapse soon, but he isn't asking because he feels he has to, Tōru can see it in his eyes. If Tōru says he wants to practice some more, he will give it a hundred fifty percent, if he has to drag his energy-dry body across the court because like he said, Tōru needs it.

Tōru opens his mouth.

 _Be mine._

The words don't come out and for the first time, an emotion he's never linked to his friend before hits him full force. Fear. He's scared. He's terrified, more scared than losing to Kageyama, more petrified than being a failure, more horrified than being kicked off the team, he is absolutely aching with pain at the thought of potential rejection.

"No, I'm all good now."

Iwa-chan doesn't believe him.

Tōru can't decide whether he hates or loves him (yes, loves him) for that.

* * *

It's during university that Tōru truly understands that saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder". He's sure everyone in his class has heard Iwa-chan's name more times than any other word and soon he finds himself catching himself, instead referring to him as "my friend". Everyone knows he's talking about Iwa-chan.

Someone asks him why he's still so close to Iwa-chan. After so many years of being right next to each other isn't going to separate universities like being liberated? Isn't he sick of him yet? What do they even talk about when they're side by side all the time? You can't talk about the day if you've shared it with someone.

Tōru's never thought of it that way. To be honest he doesn't understand what he's talking about.

What is there _not_ to talk about?

If you're side by side someone you don't have to bother with plain boring conversations such as what you did. You can get to all the random shit, asking deep questions and turning them into jokes. You can say anything and everything, open up your whole heart and just watch as they respond just as equally open. Aliens, bugs, volleyball, sometimes just silence is okay if he's in the right company.

People think he's weird. Of course he's weird, he's polite but at the same time he doesn't get close to anyone. Someone once compares him to an old man who has decided all his friends and enemies and will not tolerate anyone else entering into his life. He doesn't bother to correct them.

He sees Iwa-chan perhaps once a month if they're lucky and they usually just play volleyball. They don't even talk about what they've done without each other, and he's pretty glad about that because if Iwa-chan asked him, he wouldn't be able to answer. Every moment without him feels like a blur, going through the motions of life and not really feeling anything. He sees Iwa-chan every now and then and when he does he gives no indication of missing Tōru as much as Tōru misses him.

Tōru wonders if he remembers their promise. Because if he doesn't, Tōru will remind him. And if Iwa-chan ever gets into a relationship with someone, Tōru already knows what he'll do, because he's selfish and even if Iwa-chan doesn't like him like that, he'll keep his promise because Iwa-chan never breaks a promise and Tōru will take advantage of that if he has to.

* * *

When Oikawa Tōru is nineteen his whole world is destroyed by a single sentence.

"I got a girlfriend."

Tōru feels the volleyball hit the ground, almost in slow motion and his hands fall to his sides helplessly. He asked Hajime (he's nearly twenty, he can call his friend whatever he wants so long as it never slips past his lips) what's been new as he's supposed to, to be polite and all, but something like this ... Tōru never expected this.

He knows Hajime is attractive, not everyone's cup of tea with a wide forehead, tan skin and spiky hair, but at the same time he has mesmerizing eyes and his arms are so strong and maybe he's rough around the edges, but he's still so kind when he wants to be because he shows how he cares in weird ways.

He knows it was just a matter of time until someone asked him out, or he got a crush who would respond in kind. Tōru isn't completely innocent, he remembers that time he once had a girlfriend who broke up with him for being too obsessed with volleyball, but to be honest it's been a long time since he's thought of volleyball as a separate thing from Hajime and so maybe he's always been obsessed with Hajime.

"Oh?" he says, picking up the ball. "Is she hot?" he asks, forcing a smile.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why are you asking?"

 _He knows._

"Don't lie to me, Shittykawa."

"I just want to know who was crazy enough to go out with Iwa-chan," he says. His smile is fake. He prays Hajime won't notice.

Hajime shrugs and ignores him and then proceeds to act like normal. And it hurts. Because since he's acting so normal, Tōru can pretend that the conversation never really happened and Hajime is still his, but at the same time, every time he gets too close, every time he steps in, he's going to remember that Hajime's got a girlfriend and it'll ruin everything.

Because Tōru is selfish and he knows he is, he's a king, but Hajime is not his to claim as queen, or rather, as king as well because he doesn't like to think of Hajime as anything other than equal to him. But he can't find it within him to be selfish when it comes to Iwaizumi Hajime. For his secret love, for his crush, for his ace, for his teammate, but most importantly, for his best friend who knows him better than anyone else in the world, he will be selfless. Just this once.

* * *

It is hard to be selfless.

Tōru has come to realize that it's very hard to change overnight. He thinks the first step must be to stop thinking about Hajime, but that's very hard and it's not for lack of trying.

When you know someone since you first open your eyes, it tends to happen that they exist in almost all of your memories, thus by default you have to think of them if you want to finish your thought. Furthermore things that never occurred with Hajime still remind him of his friend because of how immediately after it happened, he told him. Nothing has truly happened to Tōru until Hahime knows it's happened too.

He can't even look at his nephew anymore. Takeru is growing up to be a good boy, and Tōru likes teaching him but he reminds him of Hajime. It's not for the reasons one might think. It's not because like Hajime, Takeru was talked into volleyball by Tōru and eventually developed an affinity towards it. It's not even that he'll constantly ask how Zumi is doing (Iwaizumi is a long tongue-twister when he's four but now that he's older the name's just stuck, kinda like Iwa-chan). It's because of what he represents.

A normal family. A child born of a mother, living a normal life.

Tōru knows that his parents expect him to get married one day, have a child or two and he's sure that's what Hajime's parents expect of him because it's a perfectly rational assumption for parents to make. A good wife, a nice job, wonderful children, what more could you want? Tōru can't offer such a thing, no matter what happens he can never compare to the curves of a woman. He may have a pretty face, he may be graceful and delicate looking at times, but ultimately he is male, his voice is deep, his shoulders are broad, his body is firm and his fingers are callused.

Takeru is everything Tōru can never give Hajime and everything Hajime deserves.

It hurts to look at him sometimes.

* * *

When he's in the middle of a lecture he gets a piece of paper thrown at the back of his head. It says to go to the roof after class.

There's a girl standing there and Tōru realizes that many people have confessed to him now and he's only a few months into the year. The only variable? Hajime isn't here.

And it occurs to him that the girls are intimidated by Hajime, the confessions were few in number in high school and only when he was alone. He gives her a small smile but already knows his answer.

"I ... towards you I ..."

Tōru holds up his hand, tears almost in his eyes. He knows the set up, the scene and he knows his answer. Above all he knows this is something he can never do. A boy, a man, a male, can never confess so openly to another man. It's looked down upon. He's envious.

Jealousy does not look good on him.

"Mei-chan—"

"I know you don't like me!"

Tōru is taken aback by the sudden break in routine.

"My friends think I'm crazy to confess to you, since you don't accept any of them. You like someone else, right?"

Is he that transparent? Has Hajime figured it out?

"It's Iwa-chan, isn't it?"

Tōru sucks in a deep breath but he can't respond. His voice doesn't work.

"I'm okay with that," says Mei. "She's a very lucky girl."

 _He's not a she._

Tōru doesn't bother to correct her.

"But Oikawa-kun ... I ... How long have you been waiting?"

Tōru raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"How long have you been waiting for her?"

Tōru sucks in a deep breath and thinks. "Technically, it's only been two years, almost three. But ... I think it's really been eleven."

Mei nods, like she understands. "I don't care about that," she says. "Even if it's just to humour me, even if it's pretend, only for a little while, I want Oikawa-kun to look at me the way he does when he speaks of Iwa-chan."

Tōru's expression hardens and Mei looks taken aback. Ah yes, only his teammates ever see this face of his, and only Hajime is unafraid, undeterred. "No."

"But—"

"Have more respect than that, Mei-chan," he says. "Will you really settle for second best? Are you really okay with knowing you're only a distraction to me? Would you truly be satisfied, knowing that when I look at you, I'm really thinking of someone else?" He clenches his fists. "Mei-chan, trust me when I tell you this. What you're proposing, it's worse. You think it's okay now but as time goes on you're going to realize you can't stand it. It'll hurt more than anything you've ever done. All or nothing, that's what you should have, it's what you deserve, to have a taste but never be able to touch ..." Tōru shivers against his will. "It's unbearable. Respect yourself more than that. Don't let yourself be used."

Mei looks speechlessly at him. "Oikawa-kun, are you being used?"

"Can you call it being used when you offer?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying—"

"Look at me, Mei-chan," says Tōru, holding her face in his hands. "Look at me. What do you see? Look into my eyes. Can you tell me what you see there?"

Because when Tōru looks in the mirror he sees broken fragments of life, he sees dry, fake smiles, he sees shattered eyes, cracked glass.

"Do you see what it does to you?"

"Why do you continue?" asks Mei softly.

Tōru chuckles darkly. "Because without them I can't breathe. The most important thing about this whole ordeal is you can't let them see. I can't let them know. Do you know what happens when you wear a mask every day? You suffocate from it."

"Oikawa-kun—"

"You know, I really hate you," says Tōru softly. "You're so beautiful, so fair skinned. You have a pretty smile, a stunning body. And you can do what I cannot. And for that, I loathe you."

Mei backs away, fear in her eyes.

Oh if only Hajime could see him now.

* * *

Tōru has just turned twenty when his best friend, secret love and tormentor sits down next to him at the bar and finds a brand new way to break his heart.

"Oi, Shittykawa, why don't you have a girlfriend?"

Tōru's fist clenches. _Because I'm waiting on you_. The words do not leave his lips. "No one interesting, I guess."

"Hmm?"

Shit. Is he being too obvious? Tōru holds his breath for a moment as Hajime stares at him strangely, as though evaluating how truthful he's being and his stomach churns, maybe because of the alcohol.

"Tōru …"

Tōru's breath does not catch in his throat because that would be strange, right? Oh fuck it, he's totally breathless. It's been years since he's heard his first name slip from Hajime's lips.

And since Hajime's started it, Tōru's pretty sure he can do it too. "Haj—"

Tōru hates Hajime's phone. More accurately, he hates his stupid girlfriend who has his stupid phone number who can't go five seconds without calling him. But who is he kidding? Tōru feels like a zombie when Hajime' s not around.

Hajime glances at him carefully, as though asking him silently if he can answer it.

"Your girl needs you, Iwa-chan," says Tōru, hoping he doesn't sound too fake. And Hajime is slow when he exits the room and he falls apart inside.

He was hoping that Hajime's relationship with her would be short, but it's lasted at least eight months and now Tōru feels like he's got no chance. At least before he could pretend.

Tōru won't lie, he fantasizes about the day Hajime's girlfriend will break up with him because he's just not there enough and he'll go to Tōru and _he'll_ get to comfort _him_ for once and then he'll look at him all teary-eyed and say that he's secretly loved Tōru all this time and Tōru will call him an idiot for wasted time but they'll kiss and it'll be everything Tōru dreams of.

But at the same time he feels bad for these self-indulgent dreams. And it's not because in them Hajime is finally his, or that he's stolen him away from his girlfriend, but it's because he feels as though he's going to achieve joy out of Hajime's pain and he realizes it hurts more to see Hajime in pain than it does to be in pain himself.

He's pretty sure the bartender knows his secret when he asks for another shot. He gets the feeling he'll be getting to know the man very well.

* * *

The bartender's name is Izumi.

Tōru knows because when he's in the middle of ripping off said-bartender's clothes, he tells him before he's fucked against the wall and he screws up his name horribly and embarrassingly.

"Is that his name?" asks Izumi. "Hajime?"

Tōru grits his teeth but he nods anyway. "Iwaizumi Hajime," he says softly.

"You can call me that if it makes you feel better," says Izumi. "I don't mind."

But Tōru minds because part of him was hoping that he and Hajime could be each other's firsts and now he's gone and ruined that too. He's just screwing up, making plans for non-existent relationships that'll never happen.

"I can't …"

Izumi nods. "I get it."

"How can you?" Tōru snaps. "You don't know anything about me, except that I'm huge light weight!"

"I know you love him."

The first time he hears the truth spoken aloud and it's not even him who says it. Is he really that obvious? Hajime's going to be so disgusted with him.

"I know he doesn't know. That he has a girlfriend. I know that you're going to destroy your liver if you keep this up and you need to release tension. And I know that it was your first time."

"That obvious?" Tōru squeaks.

"You came pretty quickly," says Izumi. "How long?"

How long? How long has he been in love with him? Probably forever. How long has he wished he was a girl so that these feelings wouldn't be so weird? He's lost count of the years. How long has he spent thinking indecent thoughts about his best friend? Probably since he's realized what masturbation is. How long has he cried himself to sleep knowing the impossibility of it happening? He's sure the neighbours could tell you. How long has he been clinging onto that desperate hope of a childish promise? Since he realized he was doomed an infinite years ago.

But he doesn't tell these things to the bartender who's basically a stranger who he just shoved his dick into.

"Too long."

* * *

When they're twenty-three, they move in together.

University is done with, Tōru's pursuing professional volleyball and Hajime is in sports-med. Which technically means Hajime is a doctor. And if that doesn't give Tōru more to fantasize about, he doesn't know what does.

He's still with his girlfriend and it still hurts but now it's become normal for him and he's not sure what hurts more.

Loving Iwaizumi Hajime has not become a fact, it's become a lifestyle, something he's learnt to program into his daily routine and accept is part of him now.

When they're laying down the rules of the apartment there are tons of habits Tōru doesn't tell Hajime about.

Like how he'll stare at him a bit too long if he ever leaves the bathroom in only a towel.

He doesn't tell him that he'll probably sit on the couch waiting for him to get back from his date but then conveniently be too tired to hear about it (not that Hajime kisses and tells).

He does tell him that he'll blare his music pretty loudly at times (but he won't tell him it's to cover up his cries).

He doesn't tell him that he'll try to stop him from leaving the apartment at any cost to have him closer.

He doesn't tell him that he'll probably snuggle closer than he should when they watch movies.

He doesn't tell him that he'll jokingly tell him he loves him and mean it with every fibre of his being.

But that's okay. Hajime's too dense to pick up on it anyway.

* * *

Tōru is twenty-seven when he brings someone home for the first time. He's drunk, so clearly drunk that he can barely stand up and he's clinging onto her like she's his lifeline. She's giggling and he can't help but giggle too and then they stumble into the apartment and Hajime is sitting there on the couch watching some kind of nature documentary.

Tōru has had it, it's been ten years, he's absolutely screwed and he knows he can't have him so he's not going to let him ruin this for him and he drags the girl to his room.

They do it.

He's not quite sure how good it is, just that he goes to sleep immediately after and when he wakes up he can't remember her name but she thanks him and leaves.

Hajime hands him some pills without asking a thing but he looks uncomfortable and part of Tōru hopes he's jealous but another part knows better.

He can read Hajime like a book, same way he can read him and he knows when he's making things up so he'll feel better. That doesn't stop him from clinging onto him desperately with the excuse of having a killer headache.

* * *

At twenty-nine Tōru fucks up.

He's playing in a game, it's a big deal, a _really_ big deal, and then he falls during his jump serve and he gets pulled off the court. The doctor tells him he can never play again and Tōru has seen movies like that, where a girl is told she has six months to live and yet she defies the odds but it truly does feel like everything is over.

Hajime brings him home and he falls onto the couch and cries.

Volleyball, volleyball is Tōru's life, it's the only thing he loves as much, if not more, than Hajime and if he doesn't have it, who is he? It's been the thing that's helped shaped him almost as much as his parents, to be told he can never play again … It has to be some kind of sick joke the universe is playing on him. He can't have Hajime and now he can't have volleyball.

Hajime holds him, and Tōru falls apart. The day his dreams are crushed, his other tormentor holds him closer and it feels like the sweetest form of torture.

In the past few years the titles Tōru has given Hajime have changed.

He now calls him Iwaizumi-kun, when they're in public because "Iwa-chan" is not professional. He still calls him "Hajime" in his head, and in his head, Hajime calls him "Tōru".

Hajime is his best friend.

He's stopped being his teammate a while ago, but that doesn't mean they've stopped being partners. Tōru's favourite moments of volleyball are when he's practicing with Hajime and he gets to toss to him.

Hajime is his secret love, the one who breaks his heart but glues it back together just enough for him to function.

Hajime is also his doctor.

Studying sports-med helps Hajime know when Tōru should practice, where, how often, and when he has to stop him.

Tōru still practices when he's not supposed to. It keeps his mind off of the fact that Hajime's out with his girlfriend.

That night, while he cries Hajime's girlfriend comes to visit.

She asks to go out and Hajime tells her no, his friend needs him.

She slaps him.

They're over now.

And even though he knows it's wrong, Tōru feels as though the gods have given Hajime back to him somehow, even if he can never have him the way he wants.

* * *

Tōru is thirty-one when he's able to play again.

It's thanks to Hajime really. He's defied the impossible. A special surgery to fix his knee, a strict training schedule that forces him to quit, even when he doesn't want to, and of course, lots of alien movies.

Of course he's considered an experience player now and with his youth gone, he's no longer a prodigy (not that he ever was in the first place). He doesn't really mind that much.

He makes a great comeback, Hajime by his side so that he doesn't take such a bad fall again. The team says that with Tōru's return, so does the demon doctor. He knows they're talking about Hajime.

They tease him that he's dating Hajime and it physically pains him to tell them that they're wrong. He clenches his teeth when he answers and Hajime gives him a strange look. Almost hurt. He must be seeing things. He's getting older, maybe he put his contacts in wrong.

* * *

Tōru stares at the clock, waiting for midnight. He'll be thirty-five soon.

Thirty-five. He remembers how when he was younger and stupid, he thought the moment it happened he and Hajime could get married. Now though everything is falling apart. True, Hajime is no longer in a relationship but it's been twenty-seven years. That's a long time to remember such a childish promise made between two boys who were oblivious to the harsh realities of life and how sometimes you don't always get your best friend who you love with everything you have, but can never truly call your own. He knows Hajime has plans to move, it's been over ten years of living together and surely Hajime will move on to greater things and when Tōru is older he'll be a retired Olympic volleyball player, talking about this sports-med doctor he used to know.

Midnight strikes.

"Oi, Trashkawa!"

Even after so many years Hajime still won't call him Oikawa, "Tōru" is used on special occasions (like when he was told he could never play again) and somehow it's become a source of comfort to him. That though many things have changed over the years, this one thing is a constant.

Tōru is about to get up and open his bedroom door when Hajime opens it for him and drops an empty suitcase in front of him. Tōru doesn't process anything at first, except one thing. Hajime has a packed suitcase.

"Iwaizumi," says Tōru. It's not so much that Hajime's leaving (he knew he would), but that he's only telling him now. He's had weeks to tell him before his departure. "Where … where are you going?" he asks, trying not to sound too choked up.

"America."

 _That far?_

"Oh."

Hajime shoves the empty suitcase towards Tōru and he stares at it. "Too lazy to pack all at once? Iwa-chan," he teases, the old nickname nearly bringing him to tears, "you can't slack off forever."

"It's not for me, it's for you."

Tōru stares. "What?"

"You're thirty-five now, right?"

"Yes …?"

"Then let's get moving."

"Let's?" Tōru repeats. How does him being thirty-five have anything to do with relocating? "What do you mean—"

"I'm in a relationship."

Tōru's heart breaks anew for the thousandth time. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Very committed and I'm moving to the US."

"How committed?" asks Tōru curiously.

"It's been about … four years?" Hajime says. "Now pack up, Shitkawa."

Tōru stares at him still. He's not making any sense. "Why do I need to pack?"

"I can't marry you here, now can I?" Hajime asks, rolling his eyes as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Marry me?" Tōru echoes.

"We had a promise, didn't we?" Hajime freezes. "Unless you've changed your mind?"

"No I …" Tōru still can't fully understand anything. "But you're in a relationship, you're committed—"

"To you."

And with that every crack, every tear in his heart seems to have been mended. Though he still doesn't fully understand he has no doubt he and Hajime will make it through this, the same way they've made it through the past twenty-seven years. Together.

"Pack up. We're getting married."

And that's all that matters now.


End file.
